Fatal Attraction
by AllMyFacesAreAlibis
Summary: They know it's wrong. They should stop. But they can't... Starts in S3E11.
1. Chapter 1

Oh my god. I made out with Collin. It wasn't just a kiss, no I actually made out with him. Before, it was easy to keep convincing myself all of the sexual tension was in my head and that fantasizing wasn't cheating but this… Now I had truly cheated on Matty. Holy crap, what was I supposed to do now?  
I had been asking myself that question for a while but I was still clueless. Should I tell Matty? No, he would just hate me and break up with me. That wasn't what I wanted, was it? No, definitely not. I did not want him to hate me. But did I want him to break up with me? Of course not, he was my first and I loved him. So, I shouldn't tell him. It would just cause pain for the both of us. I should just put Collin out of my mind. No more lingering touches, longing looks and definitely no more kissing. Yes, that's what I'd do.  
Then again, did Matty still love me? I mean, he did say he was embarrassed of me in the beginning. Didn't I deserve a guy who wasn't ashamed to be seen with me? Someone who would proudly show me off to the world? _That's ridiculous Jenna, it's not like you have a line of those waiting outside your door for you to choose from._ Plus, Matty wasn't embarrassed of me anymore right? It was just the beginning. We both made our mistakes in our relationship, like I did with Jake, but it made us stronger in the end. Now, we had a great relationship. So why screw that up? I had decided, Collin had to go and I would stay in the amazing relationship I had with Matty, the boy I had loved for so long. Come to think of it, that's exactly what Matty was, a boy. But I loved him for all of his flaws and he loved me for all of mine.

I was debating all of this when I saw Collin in the parking lot and I thought it was only fair to inform him of my decision. So we got in his car and we decided it had to be over. But looking down at the dark blue V-neck he was wearing that showed off his beautiful chest and his eyes at the same time, I had no control over myself whatsoever. Hence, our parting kiss. So, we called a truce. But when his thumb stroked my hand, I just couldn't not kiss him, it was like gravity was pulling me towards him, like I just couldn't keep my body in my seat. And when my lips touched his, I felt like I was on fire. It felt so right to give in to that strange force pulling me towards him that I was actually disappointed when Tamara knocked on the window looking at me like I had just eaten her favorite pair of shoes. So I detached myself from Collin and tried to explain to her that it was just a mistake, and that I hadn't really wanted it to happen. I couldn't help but feel like it was a lie. But it wasn't, right? God, I was so confused. One moment I was telling myself Collin had to go and the next I was kissing him. Again. Of course Tamara couldn't just leave me with my confusion or help me through it, no she had to remind me that she was terrible at keeping secrets. That left me with no choice. I had to do something about this mess I had gotten myself into. Since I didn't really know yet what that was exactly, I didn't really feel like facing Matty. So, my plan consisted of avoiding him until I figured out what to do.

Of course that plan literally failed two minutes after I made it. He wanted to talk to me about my birthday. I had never been a fan of birthdays, it was just a day like any other. I didn't get what the big deal was, the label "17" wouldn't all of a sudden make me any wiser. This year however, I was secretly hoping I was wrong about that part because I was in desperate need of some wisdom.  
And just when I thought I had dodged a bullet when he turned around and left me to think about what I wanted to do for my birthday on Friday, Ming ambushed me again about my little situation with Collin. I was relieved Tamara wasn't spilling anything yet, but I found it disturbing to realize just how much the Asian Mafia knew. I made a mental note to never mess with them. I was starting to get the feeling that my secret wouldn't be a secret for long. So in class, I saw the perfect opportunity to end it once and for all, because it wasn't like I could jump his bones in class. Yes, perfect opportunity. Or so I thought. I had forgotten about one little detail: Sadie Saxton. When she asked Collin if he knew Matty, he almost looked sad. Had I read his facial expression completely wrong or was he hoping that one day he could kiss me without having to feel guilty? I didn't exactly have time to consider those possibilities because apparently, I was really transparent. She knew something was up with Collin and me. Crap. I had never been more grateful for Mr. Hart's presence. I couldn't deal with her yet. I would tell her to mind her own business when I had decided what my business was exactly.

After class, I went looking for Collin hoping to finish the conversation I had started in class. Instead I found him talking to Matty. Yes, my boyfriend was talking to the guy I couldn't keep my hands off. Brilliant. Had Sadie told Matty? Was he trying to figure out what was going on between us? _Well, good luck with that, I don't even know myself, _I thought to myself. It was a great excuse to talk to Collin again though, so I bluntly asked if Matty knew about us. Thank god, he said no. But I felt terrible when I found out Matty was trying to buy me a picture of Elizabeth Karen. I felt like an ass. _Face it Jenna, you are an ass._ This was going through my head over and over again like a tape I couldn't turn off. So I sought comfort in Collin's lips. Again. Was I really that incapable of controlling myself when he was around? Apparently, I was. But he didn't make me feel like I was a bad person, he made me feel… good. _No Jenna, bad thought. _It was a miracle nobody saw us.

At lunch I thought I'd look for some normal conversations with my best friends, but Tamara was just making me feel guilty that she was getting fat because she had to keep too many secrets and Ming was nowhere to be found. I guess pretending everything was alright and living my life as I usually did wasn't an option.

When the fire alarm went off and Collin grabbed my hand to drag me off to god knows where, I was strangely excited. I could feel my body tingling with anticipation. And this time, it wasn't because his thumb was pulling me under a magic spell. Well, that was until we bumped into Matty, Jake and Tamara. I had no idea how to get myself out of this. I just bumped into my boyfriend while another guy was holding my hand. How was I supposed to explain that? I was at a loss, so I went with a high five. Knowing me, it could have been worse. I could have said we got glued together by accident in ceramics even though neither of us follow ceramics, and I'm pretty sure you're not even supposed to use glue in ceramics. Collin was just staring at me like he didn't really know what to do either, not about the intertwined hands, or just me in general. For some strange reason, the look on his face made sadness wash over me but I didn't really have time to reflect upon that, since Tamara was giving me the perfect out when she confessed her yeast infection. But my celebratory feeling was spoiled when I found out my mother was throwing me a surprise party for my birthday. She tried this every year, but she had never been able to keep her mouth shut about it before. So maybe I'd get lucky and she'd spoil the surprise, that was no longer a surprise anyway. And I did get lucky, which was a giant relief. This way, I could avoid a party where there would be entirely too much people paying attention to me.

Finally, I had convinced my mum I didn't want to do anything for my birthday and what was I doing with my free time? Obsessing over Collin. Why couldn't I keep my mind off of him? Or my hands for that matter? I had a boyfriend for god's sake. He was making me perfectly happy. So what was my problem? My only problem was Collin, so if I just cut him out of my life, everything would be fine. I had always been strong, I had enough strength to finally end it.

This is what I told myself as I was walking towards Collin the next day, but it turned out I didn't need any strength. Collin did the cutting for me. But instead of feeling relieved, I felt hurt. And instead of being happy with the photo my boyfriend bought me as a birthday present, looking at the photo, all I could think about was the party Collin's and our kiss in his car afterwards. I had never felt worse on my birthday before. Ever. Sure, there had been birthdays where I was crying because I wasn't popular enough to throw a cool birthday party and invite the cool kids, but this was terrible. I felt guilty for having cheated on Matty, hurt because Collin didn't even want to talk to me anymore and I was extremely confused. So I just wanted to be alone, my parents would be gone anyway. I could just go home, cry, try to sort out some of my feelings, and then cry some more. But Collin had other plans. He called my name softly, with a hint of desperation. I was still a little hurt by the cold shoulder he had given me all day, so I harshly asked him what the hell he was doing at my house. After assuring me he wouldn't cause any trouble (as if I was worried about that), he told me he felt guilty for being so harsh and gave me a present for my birthday. Seriously, I didn't think I could like him anymore than I already did but he wasn't just gorgeous, smart and funny, he was also kind. It was a really sweet gesture and I had no idea what to do about it. All I knew was that I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to cut him out of my life. And since it was my birthday, I thought I could just have a nice time with him today. Just today. Tomorrow, I could figure out what it meant. But now, I would just be selfish for one more day. So I invited him into my house.

**I hope you liked it, let me know what you think. Don't worry, I will update soon. This story will have multiple chapters. The next chapter will not follow the show. Before I continued, I just wanted to ask you guys what you think the present was. Jenna didn't actually open it in the show, so I just wanted to hear your theories ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

While I opened the door I could feel his eyes on me. That feeling nearly made me give into him again but I somehow managed to control myself. While we entered the house silently, I nearly had a heart attack from the shock of everyone yelling "Surprise!". Why were they here? I didn't want them here, I just wanted to spend my birthday alone. With Collin. Oh right, this must look great, me entering my house with a boy that's not my boyfriend after I had told my boyfriend I didn't want any company tonight. Great. No wonder he was staring at Collin so questioningly. He looked at me in confusion but all I could say was "Did you not hear me when I said I didn't want a party?". I wasn't even sure if the question was directed at Matty or my mother. Before anyone could respond to my question, Tamara entered the house. She looked at the situation in confusion and decided to just yell "Let's get this party started!". She could be a real lifesaver when she wanted to be. I decided to roll with it and put a smile on my face. Matty took a few cautious steps towards me and gave me a short, sweet kiss after whispering a happy birthday. I didn't have the heart to kick them all out so I got myself something to drink and sat down next to Valerie on the couch. While she started a long monologue about how she managed to keep the party a secret from me, I suddenly realized I had completely forgotten about Collin. I looked around and found him still glued to the same spot in the doorway, unsure of what to do. I could have just ignored him until he decided to get out of here but since we were trying to be normal friends now, I signaled for him to come over. He cautiously walked over to the couch and sat down next to me, but he left enough space between us so we weren't touching. I could feel his presence though. Valerie, being the amazingly social person that she is, soon included him in the conversation about how hard it was to throw me a party.

Just when I was hoping Collin could just blend in with the rest of my friends, Valerie remembered all of the amazing games that she had planned. She decided to get started with a game she had invented herself, we had to put on a blindfold and touch stuff to figure out what it was. I had a bad feeling about this. Valerie insisted that I started because it was my birthday. The first round was easy though, I soon guessed the foreign object I was touching was a wig. The rest of the group wasn't as lucky as I was, Valerie put a worm, food and some sort of jelly in their hands. Tamara was still eying the worm disgusted when it was my turn again. But, instead of getting something gross in my hands, Valerie put another hand in mine. Apparently, they were expecting to know who's hand it was. I ran my finger over the foreign hand slowly. The hand fit perfectly into mine. It was also too rough to be female, but it was still a really soft hand. Too soft to be Matty's. When I touched his thumb, I instantly figured out who's hand it was. That thumb had pulled me under a spell before. I wondered why Valerie would put a male hand in mine that didn't belong to my boyfriend. Just when I was about to say Collin's name, I realized that might be a bad idea. How would my boyfriend feel about me instantly recognizing another guy's hand. Not to mention I was still stroking it, even though I had long figured out who's hand it was. As far as Matty knew, I had only touched Collin's hand when we did that ridiculous high five. I shouldn't recognize this hand. So, I decided to play along.

"Clark?"  
Well, I couldn't exactly say Jake, because Matty was very well aware that I knew his hands just about as well as I knew his own. Still, my guess felt like a lie. It felt like I was betraying Collin. _Don't be ridiculous Jenna, it not like you guys are together, he probably doesn't even care. Wait, if he didn't care why would he even be here? _  
I took off my blindfold to end my interior struggle and looked straight into Collin's eyes. Big mistake. I could see the hurt in his eyes and I was pretty sure he could see the apology in mine. Still, I felt like a terrible person again. Why did I have to betray everyone today?

Clark soon saved me by saying "No sweety, I'm pretty sure my hands are a little softer and a little less sweaty than those." Actually, Collin's hands were soft and not at all sweaty, and he could do amazing things with that thumb…

"Oops, sorry.", was the best I could come up with. I then decided I had had enough of the party I didn't want in the first place. So I stood up and said "Sorry, I'm a little distracted and not really in the mood for partying. I'm not really up for this right now." _Well, they can't say I didn't warn them._

Jake, who always respected my feelings, spoke up "That's okay, we'll just go home. We can go out to party tomorrow or something. Whenever you want, it's your birthday."  
Sadly, Tamara didn't agree with him. "But it's your birthday, I want to see your face while you open your presents and blow out candles!"  
I was taken by surprise when Jake actually stood up to her, usually he just followed her like a lost puppy and did whatever she said. "Babe, it's her birthday, not yours. Let her spend it the way she wants to." I was grateful , thanked him and escorted everyone out the door. Everyone but Collin and Matty, that was. Collin was looking at me like he wasn't sure what to do and Matty was giving him a really suspicious look. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I wanted him to do either. Originally, I had planned to be alone. I definitely hadn't planned on being alone with Matty, I wasn't ready to talk to him just yet. But I couldn't exactly push him out the door and let Collin stay, even though I secretly might have wanted to. So, I walked over to Collin and touched his arm while saying "Thanks for coming, and the present. I'll see you in class." The simple touch felt so electrical that I was surprised Matty couldn't see the sparks flying around. Collin looked at me expressionless and started walking towards the door. For some reason, I didn't want him to leave not knowing I wasn't going to let Matty stay. So I hurried over to Matty, gave him a quick peck on the lips, smiled at him and said I'd call him. I could see the questions on his face, but he didn't move a muscle. I looked at Collin's back as he walked through the door, and back to his car. When I looked back at Matty, he asked me "So what was Collin doing here? I thought you didn't want any company today?"  
"I didn't. But he came over to give me birthday present, so I thought inviting him in and having offering him a drink was the polite thing to do."  
In my defense, that was true. Sort of. Whatever, it had to be if I wanted to save my relationship.  
"Oh, okay. Are you sure you want to be alone? We don't have to do anything special, we could just watch a movie or something."  
Did he really just let the Collin thing go that easily? Was he that clueless or did he just not want to know? Honestly, watching a brainless movie didn't sound so bad right now. But I changed my mind when I saw the silver package Collin gave me, lying on the table. So, I answered "No, I'm sure. We can watch a movie tomorrow though, is that okay?"  
"Sure, babe. Whatever you want, Jake was right, it's your birthday. I'm sorry I didn't listen to what you wanted to do with it."  
Seriously? He was apologizing for throwing me party. That was incredibly sweet, and I was a jerk for not appreciating what he did for me.  
"No, don't apologize. I appreciate the effort, I do. But I'm just really not in the mood today. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"  
"Sure." He gave me a smile and kissed me. By licking my bottom lip, he was obviously trying to gain access to my mouth but instead of the heated feeling I used to get in my lower abdomen, it felt wrong. So I pulled away and closed the door behind him.

Now it was time to figure out what the hell I was going to do about this.


End file.
